i finally understand wHy we are often told not to go into a relationship as a student.. with my commitments, i'm unable to do my best both as a girlfriend as well as a student.. i passed mY m9 last night.. even with a passing maRk of 88.. I did pass.. but i was ill prepared.. honestly, this was one of tHose papeRs wherE i went in thinking "oh forget it... i'm going to take it again anw so just relax and tikam la".. reminded me oF mY J1 days whEn i tOok C matHs paper.. every paper i went in knowing i'm going to die.. for m5 and m8 i was nervous, hoping to pass cos i studied.. i had more confidence for m8 cos afterall as a finance student i believe i shouldn be failing a paper thats only on financial instruments.. but m9.. much to the surprise of kEl, i simply lefT my undone past year papers & TB (read once) in the car; when for m5 & m8 i wAs hurriedly flipping tHru till i wAS at the dOor of the exam rOom.. THIS WILL NOT DO!

aNd i wAS wOrse aS a gf.. i'm supposeD tO tUrn up at kel's co. bbq (invited by excolleagues) to give hIm a birthday sUrprise.. bUt dUE tO assigNments undone, i've have tO gIve it a mIss.. eVen thOu keL hinted tHat he'd loVe mY compaNy at tHE bbq.. dUe to sChool, i can only spend an eVening w him on hiS bdaE eVen thou he tOok leaVe hoping to sPend tHE daY w me.. aNd tHis is tHE wORsT.. I HAVEN BOUGHT HIM A GIFT! (his birthday is in 2 days tIme.. oh one and a half to be exact) i haD NO tIme tO sHop for a gift for him anD i rESorTed tO asking hIm tO cHoose & i'll jusT paY.. sO 'bo sim'!! i fEel sO baD aBt it.. bUt he knew i wAs in a hUrry tO gO home tO dO mY assignments sO he tOok a quiCK wAlk aRound citY cHain & declaREd nothing caUght his eYe & we sHould gO.. aND he aSked me tO jUst geT him aNything tHat easy fOr me tO buy aNd sInce i'm buying him dinner aLready, he dOesn wAnt a gIft.. *aWw~* i hAVe tHE beSt bf in tHe wOrld wHo occaSionally sPrings pleAsant sUrpriseS fOr me, rEms all tHe impt dATes (like, we gOt tOgether on a tHurs.. rEAlly?) peelS prAwns fOr me, fEed me, reMOve chicken bones fRm wIngs fOr me (and it still looks like a wIng!), gIves in tO all mY wilfUl wHIms & fAncies, heLps mE w mY reSearch, dO cRazy sTuff w mE.. wHat haVe i dOne fOr hIM? gRr.. i fEel like tHe wOrst gf evEr.. aNd agAin, THIS WILL NOT DO!

aND, i haVen gOne ouT w mY mUm in AGES.. THIS WILL NOT DO TOO!

i can't dO mY beST in bOth aREas.. its tIme tO prioritise.. sIghz.. =(