Thursday, 31 January 2008 ;
18:45
tOdAY, i wAs fOrced aGain, tO lOok at liFe & dEath sTraight in tHe fAce. iT maDe me cHange mY perception abOut sOme maTTers..
tHese haNdful oF mOnths i'vE beEn gOing tO hOspitALs wAy tOo ofTEn.. cLinics of dIfferNt speciAlisatIons, cEntres of dIfferenT tEsts aNd tReatmeNts.. iTs nOt a gOod tHing.. iT pRobably wLdn mEntally anD emOtionally dRain me as mUch if i wAs tHe one undERgOing uncERtainty.. it hUrts cOs iTs haPpening tO ppl i lOve.. iT hUrts cOs i wAn tO sUffer in tHeir plACe bUt i cAn't.. it hUrtS cOs i sO wANt tO tell tHem it'll be aLright.. bUt i cAN't.. cos it mAY nOt be..
i oNce rEAd tHis somewHere:
"it'll be alright in the end. if it isn't alright, it isn the end." oFten, wHen tHings haPpen, i repEAt tHat tO mysElf. bUt i'm sTarting tO dOubt its cRedibility.. wiLL it rEally be aLright in tHE enD?
iT reAlly wLd NOT be sUrpriSing if i dEcide tO be a nUn onE dAy. rEally. afTerall, i'vE been tHinking abOut it siNce sEc 1..
生命实在太累人。。
oR sO sHe sAys..-
Kaiyan